If Things Are Not Working Your Way, Read This

Master the power of observation

REAL LIFE STORIES

I was in my sophomore year of engineering when I contemplated leaving the course to pursue a career in Literature. And by literature, I meant poetry.

I had somehow developed an interest in reading novels out of my school’s brand new library installation and writing poems by the time I was in 8th Standard in my school.

It was an interesting hobby; I got to learn a few new English words each time I decided to sit down and jot a few lines.

And there was always this support of a teacher whom I revered.

So, I was interested in that. Writing poems. Not engineering. That never really interested me. But I was not able to fall on either side of the line, to finally do it.

So to decide, I finally gave in to my mother’s request of talking to her Spiritual Guru, who often advises her. I was a bit hesitant, since this is all a bit malarkey to me.

But he told me the most interesting story. He said,

“A seed grows into a flower at the end of the journey. But in between that, it grows several branches. Each branch tries to grow a flower, but in vain. Not every branch does. You just keep going. And in the end, you are going to see the sun shine on you, and that’s when you know. That you have bloomed”.

What this did for me was it made me realise I just need to focus on one thing, and try it out. And I did that, and I am glad I finished college. It gave me skills I would have never thought I would pick up organically.

You must be thinking, “Then why are you writing now?”

Because technology gave me tools, I can now use them to make my writing reach a wider audience, like Medium. To make my Blogging website. It’s a start. It’s small. But I've got to start somewhere.

I feel sunlight on my face shining right now. I can feel I am near. But these changes in attitude didn’t come magically after hearing that story. I started noticing my patterns, and here’s what I have observed that has helped me reach here.

The power of observation

Tracking changes for a long time was difficult. I tried pen and paper, I tried sticky notes, a timetable, and a few apps. I even tried restricting my electronic device usage.

Nothing was working. Every time I tried, I would stop doing it after a few weeks, if not days. Something was wrong.

And then I realised I wasn't noticing what was working for me.

Because I had the motivation and the energy, but even then, nothing worked.

Then I thought, I love mobile app development, why don’t I build an application, just for myself?

And develop only what I need. This will make me productive, and it is something I already like.

It is not that you cannot do it. Almost everything has already been done once. So the problem you’re facing, the solution to it is out there somewhere too.

It will happen.

Just really start observing what works out for you. And things will start falling into place.

If I fail one day, I don’t throw the book into the fire

This is another extension of the Power of Observation. I noticed I was failing at maintaining decorum of my own, following a routine. I thought everyone just inherently followed good practices.

But there was a sense of shame when I failed at completing tasks I had jotted down to complete. Every time I failed at doing the task, I would avoid opening the tracker. Like, avoiding it would somehow make it change the past.

But this time, instead of getting frustrated, I thought to myself. I cannot be the only one failing. So I decided I will stop constantly bashing myself if I fail for a few days.

Yes, even a few days.

You need to give yourself the space to fail. You cannot be too hard on yourself. If I can forgive my friend for ditching me on some plans, I should be able to forgive myself for giving in to the temptation of not doing something.

It’s okay. Take a deep breath. And say it to yourself. It is okay to fail.

“You know, life has a way of throwing you off from some well-crafted plan, and I think the most important thing is to roll with it. And make you recognise that the doors are opening, and you choose the one to walk through.” — Tim Cook

Choose what’s best for you

“The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence.” ― Charles Bukowski

Humans are like a Glass Vase. It’s crystal-like and clear. As we grow, we develop cracks and sometimes we break, too.

It’s a natural process. I was in my Sophomore year, in 2014, and I used to love dancing, writing. But I was always sheltered in the past. I had a small competition, and it was easy, and this bloated my sense of self.

So when I jumped into college for the first time, I saw such a bigger pool that I fell short. So the only way to make a space for myself was to do something different.

Our college had 3 very good Western Dance Groups already, and I was in a position to join any one of them.

I felt very insecure. I could not find my footing in any group. One group was too boisterous. One was too timid. And the other one was the same as the first one. Not inclusive.

So, I joined a 4th Dance group that was about to be closed that year. And I asked a few more friends to join and help me out to revive it. We auditioned for a few more members, and we practised.

We didn’t select the best dancing students. We already had groups for that. We selected those who wanted to learn.

We went on to win the 3rd position in the Group Dance category the following year, 2015, and the 2nd position in 2016 and the 1st position in 2017. Just a year before I was supposed to graduate.

Things will eventually fall into place. You just have to give some time and make your best efforts. Even if those efforts feel in vain.

Since I started writing this piece, I thought I would start dabbling in poetry again. Here is my first try, after almost 6 years.

The paths I walked were tangled vines,
Each failure carved in crooked lines.
But still I grew, despite the fall — 
Not every loss is a loss at all.

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