What it is like to be GAY in India.

Love is not genderless. Affection is not genderless. Marriage is not genderless and surely, Sex is not genderless. All of them are to be equated between a biological man and a biological woman. They do not fall under the “Indian Family Unit Concept”. This was the statement by the Indian Government on pleas requesting equality in Marriages. And this was in the year 2021.

While there have been many changes and advancements in regards to the acceptance of its own people in India, the country and the Government is still not ready to fully accept that people can be different. That the mould can be different. That people can actually love someone other than what they feel is the “correct way to love”.

Indian Government, when formed after Independence, in 1950 upheld many of the rules from under British Imperialism. Homosexuality has been prevalent throughout the history of India and there have been many texts supporting it. Even then, India upheld the criminalization of Homosexuality.

The issue of not accepting Homosexuality as a concept

While a small part has progressed a lot in terms of acceptance, many are still in the Stone Age. There are probably 3 issues that this whole situation can be circled into, which are:

1. Sex is a Taboo
2. Lack of introduction of Homosexuality in School Textbooks
3. Lack of Empathy in families

These are the ingredients of a repressive culture in making.

The harsh truth

Being gay in India is suppression of one's own feelings, desires and true self. For people who cannot relate, for my friends and relatives, think of it like you are being told to desire a particular gender that you don't actually feel infatuated to. You are told to change your behaviour, your actions and hide.

If you are still not able to relate, imagine you are abused physically and emotionally and sexually. And you have to hide the fact that you were abused.

I understand that homosexuality has been a taboo in India and that you didn't know any better. But you are self-aware now. You are able to make your own decisions. So you now need to be cautious of other members of society. You cannot joke around calling people names that you think is amusing but in fact, is making the other person question all of their actions.

Despite recent political movements in favour of LGBT rights, there remains a significant amount of homophobia present among the Indian population, with around half of Indians objecting to same-sex relationships according to a 2019 opinion poll. (Source)

A little Poll

I conducted a survey on Instagram asking various questions with yes-no answers. However, I know the results are far from accurate. We cannot accept that we are discriminating toward a section of society. I say this because I am personally acquainted with people making fun of the LGBTQ+ community and using their title as a way of trolling others.

Under the poll, I have drawn, how many people have said yes or no.

A little History

I once knew a little boy in 5th Standard who liked to dance and was mostly at the front centre of it. He was good at it, the dance, the expressions. He had the swagger. Mostly everyone at the school loved him. One day his teacher asks him to smile a little less, give expressions a little less. It makes you seem girly. I remember him crying in the hallway and making a hard decision not ever to do that again. That little boy died. That was past me. How little this incident might seem, this stuck and stayed with me forever.

I came out on Instagram on 4th October 2020. Since then, it has been a ride for actually coming out of the closet. Since hiding in it for the last 24 years, it is actually taking time in telling people that I am gay. It is taking all my power in telling my real experiences and not mould them to include the "socially acceptable gender" in what should actually be a boy.

The idea of romance and love between two men was a dumbfounded concept that had a steep learning curve. Finding the correct literature for realising what love is and what it can be, has been a journey.

I believe media has a huge role in providing differing views to the population. While there might not be enough mainstream media advocating sexual fluidity, the acceptance of duties as a member of society is visually becoming more and more commonplace.

For people who are still in the closet or are having a hard time accepting themselves, please know that I am certain that the situation will only improve from now. We have a long way to go.
But it is your journey. Allow no one to call you out. You are allowed to take your own time when to tell anyone you feel comfortable with.
❤❤